


illumination in unnatural light

by maharlika



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - Fandom
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Fix-It, Infinity War Thor, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Sibling Incest, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Truth Serum, thor 1 loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 06:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20335594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maharlika/pseuds/maharlika
Summary: “You may think you have them all fooled, you know, but I know what you are.”An AU where Thor kills Thanos and asks a boon from Stephen Strange: to be sent into a timeline where his planet is whole, his family is well, and his brother is alive.Only, he can't quite convince Loki that he is who he says he is.





	illumination in unnatural light

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the At Dawn Zine. Beta'd by Elsa and by Seidr. Thank you!

“You may think you have them all fooled, you know, but I know what you are.”

Thor looked up from the book of fairytales that lay open on his desk. Dark elves and the Aether. Trust Strange to drop him sometime so close to a catastrophe.

He took his time turning to face Loki. Even now, the sight of his brother—young, eyes full of anger—made him ache. Ever since Thor had arrived into this timeline, he had only ever seen Loki as a shadow slipping past the corner of his eye.

A centuries-old instinct had told Thor that Loki was up to something, but he had not sought him out. 

He had not been capable.

Now, Loki stood before him, lean and regal, hands clasped behind his back. His hair was clipped short, in the style he had preferred when they were young men. 

Thor could hardly bear to look at him. He could hardly bear to look away.

“And what am I?” Thor asked.

“An imposter,” Loki hissed. “You’ve taken on the appearance of my brother for your own gain. You seek to usurp his place and I will not let this stand.”

With that, Loki turned on his heel and left the room, the sound of his footsteps trailing behind him.

Despite Loki’s hostility, Thor found himself smiling. It was good to see his brother again.

\--

When Thor arrived in this timeline a week ago, he flew to the Bifrost Observatory and presented himself to Heimdall before anyone else.

The gatekeeper looked at him with eyes that had seen the furthest expanse of the galaxy and calmly proclaimed, “Welcome home, Thor Odinson.”

Thor almost fell to his knees, relief and grief warring against each other in his chest. To be faced with everything he had lost and could lose yet again—it was almost too much to bear.

And then Heimdall accompanied him to an audience with the King and Queen of Asgard and Thor did fall to his knees. He wept into his mother’s skirts like a child, and when he was done, Frigga clasped his hands, kissed his forehead, and left him to talk to Odin.

“No tears for your father?” Odin asked, wry.

“There is too much to talk about,” Thor replied. “I think I can save the rest of the crying for later.”

The Convergence, Hela, the Infinity Stones, the Mad Titan. Loki’s heritage.

Odin eyed him warily, surveying him not as a father looked upon a son, but as a king looked upon a threat.

“Ask your questions,” Odin said.

“Does Loki know?” Thor asked.

“The fate of the world in the balance and that is what you wish to know,” Odin said.

Thor did not reply, only looked on at him steadily, his one eye meeting Odin’s.

“He has always known,” Odin said, finally.

Thor felt a weight lift from his shoulders. That minimized Loki’s suffering immensely. No attack on Jotunheim, no falling off the Bifrost. No void, no Thanos—Thor found himself weeping again, and raised a shaking hand to wipe away his tears.

And yet there was a price—there was always a price. Thor had known it before he had asked Strange to use the Time Stone to send him here. One last boon for his role in the defeat of the Mad Titan.

“How did I die?” Thor asked, and saw a deep weariness come over his father.

“We drove the Mad Titan away, into the edges of the universe. It took your death to rally the realms together.”

“I have killed him once and I would gladly kill him again,” Thor said.

“Rest,” Odin admonished. “There is time yet. Eat, sleep. Find your bearings. There is much work to be done.”

“And much to discuss,” Thor said pointedly, but allowed his feet to carry him down familiar halls to his old chambers.

He felt a pang in his heart as he entered: everything was left in its place, presumably ever since the Thor of this timeline had perished. Thor spotted a bilgesnipe fur throw that he had eventually replaced with a dragonscale rug as he grew older. The books on his shelf were books of stories and songs, not the history books that had begun to dominate his readings as a budding military commander.

He had died young, then. Barely on the cusp of adulthood.

As he ventured further into the room, he felt a shudder run up his spine, and turned his head to see Mjolnir, placed on the floor before his bed, where he always left her before sleep.

He summoned her to his hand, throat going thick when she flew into his palm without hesitation. She hummed and sent electricity running through his arms, and he choked out a wet laugh at the clear reprimand.

“I’ve missed you too,” he murmured to her. He looked at his bed, and then out the window.

He had not seen Asgard in years. His room had been built with a beautiful view of the city, fit for a prince. Asgard in all its splendor, a paltry distance from where he stood.

As he leapt into the air, Mjolnir in his hand, Thor let his thoughts rest.

For now, he was home.

\--

“Drink this,” said Loki, coming up beside him and shoving a vial into his hand.

Thor, sitting on the edge of his bed and in the act of pulling on his boots, let the shoes drop, took Loki’s offering, and drank the thing in one gulp.

When he put the drink down and wiped at his mouth, he saw that Loki was looking at him with wide-eyed horror. 

“That could have been anything,” Loki said, his shock turning quickly into anger. “You fool, I could have given you poison, or a spell to take over your mind, or your body or—”

Then Loki seemed to seemed to reel himself back, straightening up and putting his hands behind his back.

“Do you have such little regard for your own life?” he asked instead, taking the vial away from Thor’s slack hands.

“Ever since you died,” Thor said, and it was the truth, for he knew what Loki had given him the moment he drank it.

Loki made a small, shocked noise, and the vial fell from his hands to the floor.

“Where did you get the truth serum, Loki? Is this why you’ve been skulking around?” Thor asked. Truth serums were notoriously difficult to craft. The ingredients alone…it was no wonder Thor had barely seen his brother since he had arrived here. Loki had not only been avoiding him, he had been scheming. Fondness bloomed in Thor’s chest. Oh, but it was so good to be with his brother again.

Loki waved a hand and the glass vial vanished. Thor saw that his hand was shaking.

“I’ll be the one asking the questions here,” Loki said haughtily, as if Thor had not just spoken of his death. Thor shrugged, clasped his hands together and gave Loki a little smile.

“Ask away, then,” he said.

“Are you wearing a glamour?” Loki asked.

“None,” Thor said, shaking his head.

“Who are you?” Loki asked, his eyes gleaming with some sort of hunger.

“I am Thor, son of Odin and Frigga,” Thor said. Though his statement was true, the effect of the serum was strange, and the words were pulled out of his throat before he had the chance to think on them.

“Brother of Loki,” Thor added, because he could, and not because he had to.

Loki pursed his lips and looked away.

“What am I to you?” Loki asked, not looking at Thor.

“You are my brother,” Thor said, and could not stop the rest of the words from spilling out of him: “My love, and my best beloved. You are my own, Loki.”

He closed his one eye and clenched his fists.

Before him, Loki had gone very still.

And then:

“How did I die?”

“No,” Thor choked out, and grit his teeth, digging his feet into the carpet underneath him. But the truth was dragged out of him all the same, and without his volition he spat, “The Mad Titan strangled you before me.”

“It was an honorable death,” he added, before Loki could get a word in. “You were—you—” And then Thor could speak no more, for he was overcome by grief; a grief he had not been able to keep at bay, not for a single day since he had lost his brother.

“You are not my brother,” Loki whispered, and Thor saw his shoulders drop.

“Not the one you wish for,” Thor replied, with a heavy nod.

“But you _are_ Thor,” Loki said.

“Yes,” Thor said.

“How?” Loki asked, and Thor explained, as best as he could, about Strange and the Time Stone and the Mad Titan.

“You killed him?” Loki asked.

“Yes,” Thor said.

“Good,” Loki said. He swallowed, and then nodded once.

“Why are you here?” Loki asked.

Because he wanted to save more lives from the Mad Titan. Because he wanted to see his home again, his people.

But there was only one truth, and Thor needed no potion to speak it:

“Because I missed you,” he said, looking down at his clasped hands, his vision blurry with tears. “And even just a glimpse of you...just another chance to see you...Loki, I would have traded everything I had in that other world to have it.”

“You did,” Loki said.

“I did,” Thor nodded.

After a moment, Loki shook his head and laughed to himself. “You’re a smart one, I’ll give you that.”

Thor looked at him in confusion.

“A brilliant actor, too,” Loki said. “I can see why everyone else believes you. I can see why you may believe yourself. But you cannot fool me. You are not Thor Odinson. Thor Odinson is dead, and no force in the Nine Realms can bring him—any version of him—back.”

“You are a coward, and a traitor, and a usurper,” Loki continued, his voice rising, taking on a manic edge. “And for your crimes—for this charge of _treason_—death is the only worthy punishment.” A shining dagger had appeared in Loki’s hand as he spoke, and Thor’s blood surged.

“I neither seek to usurp nor impersonate anyone,” Thor said, standing up and taking a step towards him. “I am Thor. I am your brother.”

“My brother is _dead_,” Loki cried, and swung. Thor caught his hand, and another dagger came towards his head. Loki was sloppy, his hands trembling. Thor knocked the dagger out of his hand and sent a burst of electricity to make him drop the other.

He miscalculated how much force to use: the electricity sent Loki down to his knees in pain and shock.

“Loki—”

“I watched you _die_!” Loki screamed, the outburst ripped out from him violently, his back bowed into a pained hunch, his hands clenching into the blood-red carpet of Thor’s bedroom.

Thor’s head was pounding. He swallowed, throat suddenly gone dry, and thought: of course. Everything had a price.

“I watched you die,” Loki said again, his voice breaking, bringing up shaking hands to his mouth to muffle his sobs.

Loki had ever been quiet in grief: he had learned from a young age not to show tears or weakness. They both had. But being pushed to the furthest edge of sorrow had turned Loki into a wild thing: he sobbed uncontrollably, screamed into his hands, slammed his fists into the floor in fury. He was a storm unto himself, his brother was. Thor stood in place, frozen as he watched Loki falling apart, and felt a pang of familiarity. So this was what grief did to Gods.

“I’m sorry,” Thor said helplessly, falling to his knees on the floor to gather Loki into his arms. He had never wanted Loki to experience what he had, never wanted him to be the one left behind. 

To his surprise, Loki went without resisting, his hands coming to fist into the material of Thor’s tunic. He whimpered, he sniveled, he bawled. There was no dignity in grief like this, and Thor wondered how long Loki had kept this inside himself, letting it stew until he could control it no longer.

Thor held his brother’s violently shuddering form and waited for the storm to pass. If, along the way, he found himself crying as well—there was no shame in that.

After a few long moments, Loki’s tremors died down, and his fingers released their grip on Thor’s clothes. He did not pull away.

Finally, Thor asked, “Loki?”

Loki let out a wet laugh. “You smell just like him.”

“Do you believe me now, then?” Thor asked, resting a hand on the small of Loki’s back.

“If I ever find out that you _are_ an imposter, no force in the Nine Realms will stop me from tearing you apart, limb from limb,” Loki promised.

“As you should,” Thor nodded, and sighed when Loki tucked his face into the crook of Thor’s neck. He resisted the urge to press his nose into Loki’s hair.

“Did you mean what you said?” Loki asked.

“Yes,” Thor said, “because you gave me a truth serum. Which part?”

“You called me...you called him your love,” Loki said in a hesitant whisper.

“Yes,” Thor said, and felt Loki’s body go weak against him.

“Did you ever...?” Thor asked.

“Briefly,” Loki whispered. “There was never any time. We promised each other, after the war...”

“You were both so young,” Thor said, and closed his eyes against the rising grief inside him. He had never before thought he could hold so much sorrow in his veins. These days, it seemed that was all he contained.

Loki looked up at him, eyes still wet.

“Did _you_ ever...?”

“Briefly,” Thor whispered, remembering those last few weeks aboard the Statesman. The sweetest of his life, despite everything that had happened prior. His brother, back from the dead, eager to make amends. Loki had been calm, happy, mischievous. Thor had never loved him more.

He was pulled out of his reverie by the press of lips to his.

Loki was forceful, almost frantic. Thor drew a hand around his neck and slowly pushed him away.

“I know I’m not him,” Loki said, desperately, before Thor could speak. “I know I’m not...and you’re not...but I wanted—I only wanted—” He bit his lip, hard, and hung his head.

“Hush,” Thor murmured, and tilted Loki’s head up to kiss him properly.

When Thor had first kissed his brother, Loki had kissed back with a shared hunger. They had both been grown by then, experienced and confident.

Kissing this Loki felt like the budding of a new spring: he opened achingly slow, his cheeks brightening with the first flush of dawn. He tasted like morning dew, and shivered like a leaf touched by the gentlest of breezes.

When Thor pulled away, pleased with himself, he found that Loki was blushing, but his mouth was turned down in a frown.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked, brow furrowing.

“Who else have you been kissing like that?” Loki demanded.

“Only you, recently, I swear,” Thor said, pressing one hand to his chest. His heart was beating so wildly against his ribcage it was a wonder Loki could not feel it.

“Only me,” Loki said, nodding slowly.

“You are so very young,” Thor murmured softly, and felt the blade of Loki’s dagger press against the back of his wrist.

“I have fought a war, Odinson, and will not be treated like a child,” Loki hissed.

“I would never dream of it,” Thor said, and the cold edge retreated.

“Good,” Loki said. “Now, come, kiss me again. I must be sure you are who you say you are.”

“You have me under a truth potion,” Thor reminded him.

“It lost its fidelity after five minutes,” Loki said. “You have always been too honest for your own good.”

“Have another truth, then,” Thor said. “I have loved you for a lifetime in another world, and would love you again if you allowed me.”

“Did you not hear what I said?” Loki groused, though his cheeks flushed that endearing shade of pink again. “Kiss me.”

Thor looked at his brother who was not his brother, and knew he would ever be in Loki’s sway, helpless to obey.

—

Thor looked up as quiet footsteps entered his room. He heaved his pack over his shoulder and looked out at the rising sun.

“Are you ready?” Loki asked. He carried nothing with him, but Thor was sure he had his pockets stuffed in another dimension. 

Thor nodded, reminding himself in his head of all the places that his grandfather could have hidden the Aether.

“We will find it,” Loki said with a decisive nod. “And then we will cut the head off the monster who killed our brothers.”

“A worthy goal,” Thor said.

“More worthy than trying to pry you out of bed every morning,” Loki teased.

“Perhaps if you weren’t so tempting,” Thor said, pitching his voice low to see that blush spread over Loki’s skin.

“We are wasting time,” Loki said, turning around hastily.

Thor stepped up to him. As he laced his hands with his brother’s, he felt as if he had all the time in the world.

—

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Catch me on twitter @sendaraven :)


End file.
